Wednesday, February 29, 2012

John Friend: It's Not About Yoga

On Tuesday (2/28/12), the NY Times printed an article about John Friend, the founder of Anusara Yoga.  The article is titled Yoga and Sex Scandals: No Surprise Here (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/28/health/nutrition/yoga-fans-sexual-flames-and-predictably-plenty-of-scandal.html)



Mark Sullivan/WireImage
IN RETREAT John Friend's sexual indiscretions upset many devotees of Anusara yoga, which he founded.



The yoga community has been abuzz with the news of John's fall from grace, and the news finally hit the NY Times. 


John Friend's behavior flies in the face of all that yoga stands for, and has hurt many teachers and students deeply. It has also added fuel to the fire for those who are always eager to find fault with yoga, yogis, and self-proclaimed gurus. 


I suppose that the broader public has a right to be informed about this latest scandal. But I take serious issue with the article written by William J. Broad, author of the recently published book, The Science of Yoga: The Risks and the Rewards, and author of the article in a recent NY Times Magazine issue, How Yoga Wrecks Your Body. His inflammatory tone and lopsided writing once again take aim at yoga, presenting it in a way that is sure to lead those who find yoga strange and frightening farther down a path to rejection of this ancient wisdom tradition that helps millions of people feel better and find more clarity in their lives.


Broad informs us that, with its roots in Tantra, yoga "began as a sex cult - an omission that leaves many practitioners open to libidinal surprise." And there's more: "Hatha yoga ... used poses, deep breathing and stimulating acts - including intercourse - to hasten rapturous bliss." 


The truth is that Tantra is but one of several roots of the yoga tree. What Broad conveniently fails to mention is that Tantra was not created as a cult exclusively focused on eliciting rapture and bliss through sexual means. Healthy, appropriate sexual connection was regarded as one way to become united with the Divine Source, but the deeper Tantric journey was a profoundly spiritual quest for that union. Sex was neither a requirement, nor the sole or favored avenue toward union with Source. Good deeds, selfless service, meditation and devotional practices can all lead to a state of union and bliss.


In this article Broad states, "the arousal, sweating, heavy breathing and states of undress that characterize yoga classes have led to predictable results. In 1995, sex between students and teachers became so prevalent that the California Yoga Teachers Association deplored it as immoral and called for high standards." 


Broad cites sexual improprieties by yoga gurus such as Swami Muktananda, Swami Satchidananda, Swami Rama, and Amrit Desai, as further proof of yoga's dangers.



George Rose/Getty Images

CELEBRITY GURU Swami Muktananda had many thousands of devotees, including celebrities. A senior aide charged that he was a serial philanderer and sexual hypocrite.



It goes without saying that these teachers have done immeasurable harm to their followers, and to yoga's reputation. Those who took their guidance blindly, and were painfully misled and abused, are still healing from the trauma. And undoubtedly, abuse of the teacher's role - sexual, and in other ways - continues, protected by shame and, I suspect, a code of silence among the devotees of famous and even not-so-famous teachers.


John Friend, and those who take advantage of their vulnerable followers, would do well to heed the ethical guidelines presented in ancient yoga texts such as the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, and in the contemporary literature about sexual ethics. They need to learn that they are not above the law, or exempt from the rules guiding professional, ethical behavior. 


In Peter Rutter's book, Sex in the Forbidden Zone, he writes, "Any sexual behavior by a man in power within ... the forbidden zone is inherently exploitative of a woman's trust. Because he is the keeper of that trust, it is the man's responsibility ... to assure that sexual behavior does not take place." All yoga teachers should read and take to heart books such as, Teaching Yoga: Exploring the Teacher-Student Relationship, by Donna Farhi, The Ethics of Caring: Honoring the Web of Life in Our Professional Healing Relationships, by Kylea Taylor, or the ethics guidelines established by the California Yoga Teachers' Association and the Yoga Alliance under the guidance of Judith Lasater.


Here's the problem. This is not about yoga. This is about power and the misuse of power by unethical and hypocritical people in leadership roles.  


As yoga teachers, we need to hold ourselves to the highest ethical standards. We are ambassadors of yoga to the world, and people will judge yoga based on their observations of our attitudes and behaviors. This is not in question.


What I question is Broad's view that this behavior is especially rampant in the yoga community. That is simply not true; the media regularly reports about sexual abuses, and abuses of power, in every area of human endeavor.


But maybe I am misguided, my views undoubtedly skewed from my many years of yoga study. Maybe I need to reconsider Broad's premise. If he is right, we should all flee our yoga mats and the hundreds of thousands of ethical, well-meaning teachers who have helped us in myriad ways, and run, run, to take refuge in the hallowed halls of power where people wear proper business attire rather than scanty, sweaty, tight-fitting yoga duds. In those safe sanctuaries, we wouldn't find a hint of arousal or heavy breathing or libidinous surprise: the White House, or maybe Newt Gingrich's office, or Arnold Schwartzenegger's digs, or Wall Street, or the offices of our priests and rabbis and therapists and business leaders. Because these well-dressed, well-spoken pillars of our political or spiritual or commercial communities don't have a problem with the excess testosterone predictably evoked in candle-lit yoga studios. These fine leaders wouldn't dream of abusing their position of power. In their care, surely, we would be safe from those few crazy yoga guys with their fancy words and flowing robes and fluid morals.







Sunday, February 5, 2012

Komen Cures Again? Maybe ...

The stunning announcement last week, that the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation was pulling its funding of Planned Parenthood for breast cancer prevention, screenings and education, was met with outrage by hundreds of thousands of women, and organizations across the country. Taken by surprise, and embarrassed by the national outcry, Komen for the Cure founder Nancy Brinker "sort of" apologized yesterday, though her carefully worded retraction left it unclear whether funding would continue. Brinker's speech was ambiguous at best, offering no firm commitment to renew funding in the future.


What does this have to do with yoga? A lot.


Yoga teaches us to stand up for what is right, regardless of current trends, the "view du jour," or the political climate. By yoga's standards, then, it is very clear that the Komen Foundation succumbed to the pressure of the pro-life lobby ... and that of its recently hired Senior VP for Public Policy, Karen Handel, a staunch pro-life advocate who is opposed to continuing funding for Planned Parenthood, an organization that provides abortion counseling, and abortions.


I'm relieved that intense pressure from life-long supporters -- not to mention the wildly negative press this decision sparked -- forced the Komen Foundation to reverse its decision. This episode has reinforced my belief that we must do what is right, compassionate, and kind, and that we cannot allow political or religious influences to cloud our judgment. Politics and religion should stay away from a woman's reproductive rights. 


For the many women who could not afford breast cancer screening without Planned Parenthood, the withdrawal of funding by the Komen Foundation could have been life-threatening.


What will it take for us, collectively, as a country, and as a society, to understand that we cannot permit personal beliefs, political aspirations, or financial considerations, to influence our actions when it comes to right and wrong? As Bob Dylan sang so passionately, " ... how many deaths will it take till we know, that too many people have died?" 


I love yoga because it is color-blind, gender-blind, sexual-orientation-blind, cause-blind, political-party-blind, money-blind, belief-blind. Yoga asks only that we find our deepest truths (satya) and live by them, without harming others (ahimsa).


Truth and non-harming: not bad tenets to live by. 


Hopefully, with Mayor Bloomberg's grant, and funding restored, thousands of women's lives will be saved. If the Komen Foundation does indeed reinstate its support of Planned Parenthood, it will have found its way to the only truth that matters here: that women must be protected from the political games played at the highest levels of power. 


I just wish the Foundation had never taken this step. And that, once taken, it had reversed its decision for the right reasons ... which it did not. 


I wish they did yoga.



Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Our Best Aspirations

I chanced upon an inspiring project this evening: "100000aspirations.org." This is an online community collecting aspirations from people around the world to put in a "stupa" in Vermont. Stupas are sacred monuments to peace, tolerance and compassion that are at the heart of the Buddhist tradition. 


I was all set to type my aspiration into the box on the "100,000" home page, but suddenly found myself pausing, fingers hovering above the keys - waiting, thinking. I had expected that it would be easy to do this seemingly simple thing; it wasn't. 


So many aspirations came to mind. Which aspirations to choose for such an ambitious project? I aspire to work toward world peace ... I aspire to be a better person, more patient, kind, generous ... I aspire to truly, really, unconditionally wish all beings well (yes, ALL beings, even despots, corrupt leaders, and those who have been unkind, cruel, inconsiderate, unappreciative, disloyal, hurtful) ... I aspire to be calmer, quieter ... I aspire to be more mindful and less reactive ... I aspire to live with more consciousness, more awareness, to live more "awake" ... I aspire to have healthier boundaries ... I aspire to cultivate contentment and equanimity ... I aspire to not make assumptions ... I aspire to think the best of others ...


What affirmation could be worthy of standing alongside the likes of Pema Chödrön, Sharon Salzberg, Roshi Joan Halifax and the other "greats"  weighing in on the topic? 


But then I "got it:" I didn't have to be an enlightened being, nor a respected dharma teacher. I just had to identify a goal and commit to working toward that goal. I had to have the intention to be authentic and honest. I had to have the desire to be the best I could be. Everyone can do that. I could do that.


Here's the aspiration I submitted: "I aspire to cultivate happiness, embrace gratitude, see things as they really are, be fearless, live my yoga, help relieve suffering, stand in my truth, and empower others to do the same." 


At 11:00 pm tonight, the project still had 96,166 aspirations to go. You can add your voice by visiting http://www.100000aspirations.org/


Let's create a better world, together, one aspiration at a time.



Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Journey Within

Over the years, many of you have asked for recordings of my guided imagery meditations. I'm excited to share my first recording with you. 


Here is "Journey Within" -- a guided journey through the layers of our being (called "koshas" in yoga).


You can sit back and follow the audio, eyes closed, or you're welcome to enjoy the beautiful images.


Welcome to the "Journey Within."  Enjoy!







Saturday, January 7, 2012

Yoga DOESN'T Wreck Your Body

In today's New York Times magazine, there's an article titled, "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body," by William J. Broad. 

Here's a link to the article, which is adapted from "The Science of Yoga: The Risks and Rewards," by William J. Broad, to be published next month by Simon & Schuster. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/08/magazine/how-yoga-can-wreck-your-body.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

If you are a yoga practitioner, and/or a teacher of yoga, you'll want to read the article, and you may want to weigh in with your own perspective, joining the hundreds of readers posting comments on the Times's online thread. 

Here are the comments I sent in earlier this evening:

"Yoga can be enormously beneficial when practiced sensibly, with modifications, in a manner that awakens presence and self-empowerment. Thousands of studies document yoga's benefits for body, mind, stress, and healthy lifestyle. 

This article focuses on what can happen when people practice yoga to the extreme, pushing themselves beyond what their bodies are designed to do. Injuries occur when students practice in a forceful way that violates functional range of motion, health considerations, or common sense. Ill-informed, aggressive instructors teaching yoga as a purely physical workout only fuel this harmful trend.

The first law of yoga is "ahimsa" (non-harming). Students of yoga must assess whether they feel safe with their instructors. They must also take responsibility for their practice and be willing to modify or omit poses, especially if they have injuries or health conditions that require a moderate approach. As yoga teachers, it behooves us to pursue studies that help us teach safely, and to commit to creating a respectful, non-competitive atmosphere through our words, actions and touch.

People get hurt practicing baseball, golf, tennis, working out, cheerleading, and running; surely these American-as-apple-pie activities account for far more injuries than yoga ever will. Yet no one is calling for an end to these sports. Nor should they for yoga."

* * * * * * * * * *

On a personal note, I want to express my gratitude to some of my most influential teachers, for sharing with me their great knowledge and their unswerving commitment to safe, sensible, highly adaptive yoga, and for supporting me as I share these teachings with others: Mukunda Stiles, Sara Meeks, Adrienne Jamiel, Cheri Clampett, and Leslie Kaminoff. I am most fortunate to have the benefit of their wise guidance.

I am also deeply moved that the students who come to Stone Yoga "get it" and enjoy practicing yoga in ways that are respectful of their needs. And I am honored that the teachers I have the privilege to train are deeply committed to teaching safe, sensible yoga to their students. 

Saturday, December 31, 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 !


This photo arrived in my inbox this week – I just had to share it!

As I sit down to write something for the end of 2011 and the start of 2012, this picture keeps coming to mind. Out with the old, in with the new.

But for me, this photo also captures something even more powerful. If you’ve ever tried to take a picture and you wanted to get it just right, you know it isn’t easy. It takes work: an idea, a plan, skill, time, and lots of patience.

With this photo, that must be especially true. I imagine that the photographer tried many times to get the perfect shot. And right at the moment when the shutter clicked, things may not have gone quite according to plan. Maybe too much sand was washed away -- oops, there goes all of “2011,” a wee bit too soon: redraw, reshoot. Maybe there was a footprint nobody noticed until just then -- uh oh, that’s a do-over. Maybe droplets from the ocean splashed across the lens -- quick, wipe it off, try again.

And that’s what I wanted to share, this idea that life is like that. We pause at that always-magical moment, as one year slips away and another begins, and we create our dreams and resolutions. Then, life comes along, and things don’t go quite according to plan. We have to regroup, reenvision, recreate our dreams, and reinvent ourselves, over and over again.

And just like in this photo, where the photographer worked to get it right, so can we. We adapt to life’s ups and downs, we tweak our vision, we reinspire ourselves, and we do our inner work, so that we can, hopefully, get it right.

Tonight at midnight, as 2011 is washed away and 2012 arrives, fresh and new, I will take some mindful moments to be grateful for all the things that went right in 2011, and even for some that didn't but taught me valuable lessons along the way; for family and friends, for amazing students, for wonderful, generous teachers, for skilled healers, for the people who inspired me, for all the kindnesses that came my way. I will look ahead with hope and delight, to a new year and all the possibilities it holds.

And I’ll know that it won’t just happen in one shot; it’ll take work to manifest an awesome year. I’m OK with that. It’s worth it. I’m ready! 



Friday, November 4, 2011

Starbucks Refugee

Who knew that “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses” would become the Leitmotif for Starbucks earlier this week? It did, of course, when day after day we piled into the crowded store to warm up and charge our worn-out computers and cellphone batteries.

A refugee camp with latte.

An odd camaraderie arose as we ordered our cappuccinos and politely shared couches and – more to the point -- outlets. We took turns plugging ourselves in, nodding and smiling at each other, strangers thrown together due to the power outage. We became a shape-shifting community of sorts, coming and going, not much in common except the cold houses we had escaped from, and the desire to connect with the world, at least for a little while.

Working b


y candlelight
10/31/11
As challenging as these past few days were, they offered strange comforts, too. Without TV, radio or the internet to lure us into our separate corners, we suddenly had time to talk, to go to sleep early, to settle into a slower, more mindful rhythm. I felt like a pioneer in earlier, simpler times, when fire and food were not so easy to come by, and when being with others was what kept us connected.

Well, the power’s back on in my neighborhood, and life is back to normal, more or less. The classes at the studio are back on track. Most folks have been able to move back home after staying in hotels, or in the homes of friends and family. The trees -- cracked, splintered and wounded -- stand as stark reminders of the storm that whipped through town, but the clean-up is well under way, and the streets are almost passable now. I don’t have to write by candlelight anymore.

My heart goes out to those who are still without electricity, heat, and the comforts of home. And I won’t miss the bone-chilling cold nights curled into a fetal position under mounds of blankets. But I find myself holding onto the sense of shared survivorship I felt at Starbucks. And I feel an enormous sense of gratitude for things I’ve taken for granted: electricity, a hot shower, the internet at my beck and call. It’s easy to forget how fortunate I am. And so, as costly as this recent storm has been on so many levels, the lessons I've learned are priceless.